In https://cmu.instructure.com$CANVAS_COURSE_REFERENCE$/files/folder/early%20paper%20draft, you will find a TeX file and a pdf of a paragraph from the middle of an early draft of a paper that I was involved in several years ago.  

Please revise the paragraph as best you can, following:

-- the guidelines for sentence construction, and scientific writing generally, in Gopen & Swan

-- the additional notes, slides, discussion, etc. about effective scientific writing that we have encountered in class

-- any other matters of taste and expression that you think are important.

You may assume that any abbreviations or mathematical notation not defined here has been defined earlier in the paper.  

Since you do not know this work well and do not have access to the rest of the paper, you will have to make some guesses about what the intended meanings of the various parts of the paragraph are.  For whatever meanings you think the paragraph has, your goals are to 

-- make it as likely as possible that the reader gets the same meanings/interpretations that you have

-- take out, correct, or re-express anything that would be distracting to the reader (anything that would drawing the reader's attention away from the meanings you are choosing to emphasize)

-- help the reader to move smoothly through the text, and to retain the important point or points of the paragraph.

Please submit your revised paragraph as a pdf.

best,

-BJ